I made an appointment with a new doctor
Ok, I admit I’m a coward again. My MOTHER actually called and made the appointment and “got a feel” for the place. I know I’m lame in having my Mother call but at this point my anxiety level shoots through the roof when it comes to doctors. This last year I have been to doctor after doctor who hasn’t been able to help me and I know the poem I wrote was pretty emo, but I’m really tired of living a life with so much intense pain where I can’t even dress myself all by myself, or take a shower without my husband standing in there making sure that I don’t fall, or holding the shower head for me because my arms aren’t strong enough to do it. I’m 30 years old living like a 90 year old who is 2 feet away from a nursing home.
THIS SHOULDN’T BE MY LIFE!
But it is. This is how it is day in and day out. The basics of caring for myself have been taken away for me. It makes me angry in so many ways that’s it’s changed who I am. Luckily my husband still loves me and supports me 100%
When I was in the hospital a few weeks ago my Mother was picking up some meds from CVS. My Mother is the type that talks to EVERYONE, god love her. It used to be annoying as a kid because I had ADD so bad I wanted to go go go, not wait until Mom stopped talking to people. Well, this talk she had with this woman at CVS her experience and struggle was shockingly similar to mine. She had gone to all the doctors I had until she found the right doctor to help her. She gave my Mother his name and where he was located so both Mom and I googled him this morning. He sounded wonderful on his web site. There was even a link that said “Update me about your condition” like he really cared how his patients were doing. You could imagine my shock at that. When I called the office I talked to the receptionist. I explained to her about my fibro, arthritis, and hypoxemia and asked her if this doctor had any experience dealing with that. Her answer was “oh yes Ma’am” .. then I asked the hardest question of all. I told her I had really bad luck with doctors just pushing pills at me without actually fixing the underlying issue. She said “he’s not like that. If he can’t fix what is wrong or if you are too severe of a case he will tell you who can”
SOLD!
I’m trying not to keep my hopes up. I’m trying but my hopes are high at this point and I just don’t want there to be any sort of let down. I keep thinking every doctor I see is going to be my miracle and every doctor thus far has been my downfall.
So here’s to new found hope. Oh, I forgot to say, he’s getting me in THIS monday. That’s fast. Wish me luck.
