.:: Yolospat ::.

I’ve had my ATT/Cingular account for a good decade now and I’ve never upgraded my phone on it. A few days ago my iPhone3g 16GB did something some would think of as a dire emergency. One of those people was yours truly.

It ran out of space.

I headed straight to ATTs website and for the first time, I took advantage of my upgrade features. I got the iPhone3gs 32GB (white of course). It arrived in the mail yesterday, sparkly and brand new. Right away I powered it to full and sync’d my whole music library. To my gleeful surprise I still had room! This is not something I’ve ever ran into before. So I started syncing some of my TV shows I haven’t watched yet. I’m a big fan of Fringe & The Office. After that sync got done I was again surprised to see I still had tons of room.

It’s not like my music collection is tiny by any means but over the years I’ve weeded out the music I don’t listen to anymore. I decided not to push my luck and happily left all that empty space, proud that my usual instinct to fill a drive to the fullest was at peace.

Next I started loading my iPhone apps. One of my favorite apps right now is “Red Laser.” It reads bar codes and suggests places you can get that product the cheapest or it will tell you the nutritional value of a food product like it did for a loaf of wheat bread Mom got from Safeway.

With the iPhone3gs the camera on it is so clear and it has the focus capability. All those barcodes my iPhone3g wouldn’t read the iPhone3gs picks up in seconds. I think I’ve managed to scan every barcode I could find upstairs in Mom’s house.

The good news is my Uncle Don is going to buy my old iPhone3g since my Aunt Donna just got one under one condition. I have to give them a rash course on the basics as well as the fun stuff like apps, picture messaging, and text messaging. I’m looking forward to that. I get so excited about gadgets I want to tell everyone about them.

One more thing the iPhone3gs has is something I’ve been wanting since 2005 when I left Colorado for Florida. A compass. Ironic I have one now when I have no idea which direction is up and/or down and what my future will bring. I think it’s perfect timing I got it now.

Good Timing ….

I never knew what Adobe Contribute was for until I happen to come across a site that spoke about it being a blogging client. Well, let me tell you, it’s a lot more than that. It’s a blogging client and whole website rehaul client. I’m going to publish this and see if it works.

I bundled up today and headed to BestBuy this afternoon to get a Netgear wireless router to replace my Aunt Donna’s Linksys router with the Netgear. I had the same problem with my Linksys when I lived in Florida. My Mother also had the same problem with her Linksys which I also fixed by replacing it with a Netgear.

I actually feel I’ve accomplished something and I haven’t felt that way for a long time. It was an easy fix, I just swapped out the router, configured the Netgear and all the mac laptops in my Aunts house connected right away. She tried to pay me but I wouldn’t let her do to the fact that she’s family.

She said I should do that for a job. That made me giggle since I’ve been doing this sort of thing since 1998.

I’ve been working on getting my RSS feeds read today but I’m still at 1000+ in Google Reader. I’ll eventually catch up since I don’t have any plans this weekend.

I think I’m going to get through all this, I really do.

When it’s family. My Aunt called me to come over. Seems that Comcast has screwed up their wireless system. That’s what she told me over the phone, but when I got there I found the culprit. It’s that damn Link-sys router that doesn’t work with certain types of Comcast modems. I had the same problem in Florida and here at Mom’s house, and now they are having the problem.

So I’m headed to best buy to pick up a Netgear wireless router that will fix all their problems. My Aunt Donna and Uncle Don have a full Apple network (that tickles me to death, I love it) so it’s nice to finally be a tech for apple products.

I’ll be heading to BestBuy tomorrow to pick up the Netgear wireless router along with some blank DVD’s since Mom and I are running low. I feels good to be needed finally. I’ve felt like a wart on a toads back for so long, I forgot I was actually valuable to people. Plus, I was paid in yummy homemade soup and this homemade cracker spread, vegetarian of course.

No, I will not come to your house if you live in or close to the Greeley area to fix your home networks, but family is family and I’ve been sitting in the basement of my Mother’s house not getting much more interaction than talking to my fur babies and playing World of Warcraft.

I might have more jobs on the horizon. My Uncle Don’s son needs some consulting on a web design for his production company and I’m supposed to talk to him when he comes home from Christmas. Apparently he’s dished out a lot of money for a web site and got screwed. I hear more and more stories about that. It’s a shame.

To add to the geekiness, my friend Brett and I might have a web design project dealing with his band. We’d work together in providing a working web site to promote the band and I can continue to add to my portfolio. That’s exciting and just what I’ve been waiting for.

It’s been a good day so far. I hope it is tomorrow because my job at my Aunt’s house isn’t done yet.

One huge reason I’m failing as a blogger lately is my lack of blogging. One huge problem I have is simple to fix, but for me it seems hard as hell. When I have so much going on, I don’t blog. That’s when I need to blog the most.

Reason being:

1. My blog is a chronological record of my life. I’m missing big details over the last few years that I wish I would have written about. That is something I need to fix.

2. My blog is a place for reflection and growth. Life is a lesson, and there is something to learn around every corner. I need to take advantage of that.

3. I have a love for gadgets and technology. I love reviewing products, and I haven’t done more than I can count on one hand in the last year. This disappoints me because a lot of great technology has come out and I have no record of it.

4. It has always been inside me to help people. I have been helping people with technology since 1998 and even tho I’ve complained about it in the past, when I know I’ve really helped someone it’s the best feeling ever.

5. I’ve been wanting to get my blog underway ever since I got laid off in July. It’s already December and I’ve yet to do that because I had no idea where to start. So I decided to start from the beginning and take it one step at a time.

Those are my commitments for this blog and they have always been. I’ve been a very bad procrastinator to keeping up with it especially when it’s something I love most of all.

My inspiration in this has been my sissy Camille who has started the project I’ve always had in my head but couldn’t execute. Now is the time.

I’m finally here at Mom’s house. It’s just beautiful here today, nearly perfect except for the mosquitos. No clouds in the sky, birds chirping in the blue spruces, a distant sound of an airplane, kids next door jumping on their trampoline, Molly sleeping on my lap, the neighbors wireless at full signal showing on my MacBook Pro. I’ve gone Molly shopping to get a nail clipper, some poop bags and a cute halloween outfit with my cousin Tina. We also ate at Coyotes today, a local mexican food restaurant here in town. Finally, some good mexican food! I still haven’t found one venue that has good mexican food in Georgia.

Brendan wasn’t able to make the trip and he missed out on his second half of his birthday present that was waiting here in Colorado. It makes me sad, but it’s beyond my control.

It’s just so great being back in Colorado. Molly and I slept like a log last night. Didn’t wake up once. I’m just getting ready to take an afternoon nap from all the running around. It wore me out and my back is still hurting from yesterday when I was trying to hurry te backs we packed so packing could be easier.

I think that I’m going to start that nap right about now.

Wow. I had 95 people subscribed to my blog about 4 hours ago. Now I have 19. Either people think I’m having a melt down and they rather not see it, or there is something wrong with feed burner.

Come back to me people!

I just got done reading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. The series took me through nearly all emotions from being scared, worried, anxious to know what came next, to crying my eyes out having lived and gotten to know these fictional characters that became real in a way.

I don’t think I’ve ever read such a good series of books in my life. This was hands down the best. I’ve always enjoyed writing to the point that some of my poetry has been published but I’ve never been so inspired to take that next step to write more than a few short stories to a novella instead. Maybe even a novel itself. My Mother has told me that I should write about my life since I was in high school, and I never gave it a second thought since there were things in my life I’ve rather leave in the forgotten files, for one reason or another.

I’ve read a lot of Stephen King’s books, my husband has read more however, but since I’ve read the Dark Tower series the urge to get to know Stephen King as a person instead of a name on the front cover and a picture on the back cover. That brought me right to his book called On Writing which tells the story of him becoming a writer (I just started it today so I’m sure there is more than just that). It’s exciting to read about a man who was told by his family and his teachers that he would never succeed at writing. I bet those that are still alive are biting their tongues or if they are ignorant and close minded they probably still claim his books are crap even when they are consistently the number one sellers.

For those of you who like Stephen King’s work, I would highly suggest you read the Dark Tower series and don’t let the number or the thickness of the books scare you (I use my kindle to read everything so I never know how thick any book is).

Holy Moly I’ve been busy doing lots of things. I’ve been reading up about internet marketing along side reading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. It’s a GREAT series if you ever want to read it, I highly recommend it. I’m taking a few classes right now in the subjects of writing and blogging and marketing while combating my old work for my COBRA papers and a letter so I can sign up for unemployment. They have already robbed me of 2 weeks being uninsured and 2 weeks of my unemployment pay. Rather upset at them for that. It’s the nature of the business however and I couldn’t say how happy I am to not be working for them anymore. Every time I think of how that company screwed me for putting in extra time and effort (you would think that would be a good think right? And they expect you to do that) only to try and forget the 3 weeks of overtime that I’ll never get paid for. Just thinking about it gets my blood boiling and my stress level reaches dangerous levels so I think I’ll put that subject aside for now.

Brendan and I will be going to Colorado in September for my Grandmother Reba’s 90th birthday party. This will be the first time meeting the family. I’m sure he’s nervous and shy and scared. The same emotions I have since I haven’t seen that part of the family since I was a child. We will be good support for each other. I’ll get to introduce him to my Colorado friends too which is going to be the highlight of the trip. The first thing I thought of when we got the airplane tickets was, PACK THE WIRELESS ROUTER as my Mother only has one computer. Funny what geeks think of before the necessities. What am I talking about, that IS a necessity!

Molly is growing fast. She’s now the size of a 10 week old kitten. She’s also getting a little attitude but I’m sure that’s because I spoil her. She does know what “no” means and she stops once she hears it. Smart little booger that she is. We’ll be boarding them at the PetSmart Hotel in the same kennel. They don’t like being away from each other and Molly will need Jonah on her first time away from Mommy and Daddy. Hey, when you don’t have kids, your pets are kids.

Ever since I’ve been laid off our “baby” plans have taken a back burner. Makes me made especially when I see all my friends and couples my same age who either have babies or are planning for babies. We decided to try for kids our second year of marriage and we’re getting close to our 3rd year anniversary. I’m scared one day I’ll say, to hell with it. I hope that day never comes, but it makes two people who thinks it’s time not just one in most cases.

I can’t wait until all the trees start changing so I can go around taking pictures of Kennesaw in the fall. It’s so beautiful. I’m looking so forward to seeing Colorado again. Every time I’m there I miss it more and more. In some ways I feel Kennesaw has been ruined for me with the job and all. See, here I go taking about it when I said I would stop but so much anger is still present about it. People who I thought were friends were actually against me and people who I’ve busted my ass for .. well, I’m going to let it go for now. Only person I hear from is my friend Brian. He’s always been the one I knew would call me and remain friends with me. We have too much of a history and we’ve both gone through so much hell with that company that we’re the only ones that totally understand each other with sparked a wonderful friendship. We also depend on each other to cat sit or dog sit when either one of us is gone. He’s in the Dominican Republic right now for a work thing and we are currently taking care of his cat “Little” who loves the continued chaos that Brendan and I are used to with the pets (kids). She soaks it up like a sponge and goes home as happy as she can be. We’re her second home and she’s Brendan’s favorite since she favors Brendan rather than myself. The other three kids (pets) favor me over him so it works out good to balance things out.

Last week my best friend and adopted sister, Cam, stopped by here with her husband on their way to Texas where her husband who is in the Army got stationed. It’s been 2 years since I’ve seen her and it was the most wonderful visit for the short time they could stay. I’ve realized that 2 years is too long in-between visits and not to make that mistake again. What a refreshing day and 2 nights it was to have them stay. Next time I’m going to have to visit them in Texas and make it down near Houston to visit my long time friend Tiffany and see my neices. They have been going through a hard time since Tiffany’s recent divorice and since I’m going to miss Sharon’s birthday this year I need to make it up to her. Kids just grow up too fast, too fast indeed.

Sad news. I got a call last night from my Mother. It seems that my Gram B (Dad’s Mom) has passed away. I grew up being neighbors with her all my life until I went to college making frequent trips back to see my folks as well as her. I will aways remember when she started getting dementia. It was when I was 26 years old and I walked into her house and said “hey Gram B, thought I’d drop in and see you!” and she greeted me at the door and gave me a huge and pulled on my red ringlets and said “hi honey, I don’t think I know you, are you new in town?” … “No Grandma, it’s Jenny, your granddaughter, I lived right next door, remember?” .. I’m not quite sure she remembered but she acted like she did and invited me in. We had the same chat about 15 times before I told her I had to go. She’d forgotten who I was by then again and said “bring your parents next time so I can meet them!” with a smile on her face.

I’ll never forget her keyring which taught me my first curse word. It was a big red plastic one that said “BITCH” engraved on it. Whenever I would ask her what it meant she just said it was a female dog. She never had dogs so I could never figure it out, at least until I was older.

She was one of those woman who told odd stories. Once she took me up to Estas Park in the Rocky Mountains. Every high cliff we went by she would tell me that that’s where the Indians used to jump off to commit suicide. In my young mind I knew that wasn’t true, but whenever I see cliffs my eyes still visualize Native Americans jumping off those cliffs. I always wondered who cleaned up the bones afterwords.

Anyway, as eccentric as you were Gram B (which is actually on her license plate on her car she hasn’t driven in 12 years), I loved you. I hope you come back as a dog so you can learn how to laugh and love.

I’ve always been a big fan of the Amazon Kindle. It’s brought reading back to me. So when I got a crack in my screen on my original kindle they wouldn’t do anything about it.  I still have the box sitting right here ready to be shipped back. So since they wouldn’t take it the Kindle 2 came out and I bought one and was once again book nerd happy. Then, that kindle’s screen cracked. I called Amazon and they said they couldn’t do anything with it because I dropped the kindle which was true, but it was in it’s cushy case. I mean, how fragile are these things?

I was so mad that I just threw my kindle 2 in the garbage since nothing showed up on the screen. For reading purposes, that’s a pretty important thing.

I started hearing about this $5M class action lawsuit against Amazon for the very same problem as what happened with both of my kindles. My first thought was .. shit … I threw that damn kindle away. I decided to call Amazon again to see what they could do. At first I was told there was nothing they could do if I didn’t have the device to send back. I told this man on the phone, look how many Kindles I’ve purchased and other things. I’m a very loyal customer to Amazon and well, I used to spend a lot of money there (now that I’m laid off, no more spending on fun loving gadgets). Anyway, he Amazin guy on the phone asked me to hold on a sec and he would talk to his supervisor. It wasn’t but a few minutes that he was back on the phone telling me that they would be sending me out a brand new Kindle 2 at no charge and without returning the other one since it’s in some land dump somewhere.

I was so excited I was thinking him over and over and embarrassing him because you can only say your welcome so much. It should be here first thing tomorrow morning. Finally, I’ll have a kindle again.

Here that Sissy, I’m getting my Kindle back! I can read again

Now that work isn’t keeping me from doing what I have been wanting to do for a long time and since my afternoons are free, I went down to the YMCA and signed up for water aerobics. My first day will be tomorrow. I’m excited. Plus, it’s going to be so good for my Fibromyalgia and arthritis. It will also help me get back on a schedule. Some nights I’ll stay up all night, other times I’ll sleep all day and night. It’s a mess so getting back on a schedule will be nice.

There is a possibility that Brendan will be getting full time here soon which is great news. This will mean health insurance. I’m not sure if he has to wait 60 or 90 days like most companies. In the meantime I’ll have COBRA insurance at least. Mom will be helping me turn my 401k into a CD which will draw interest. More on that later.

Here is our little one in her bed chewing on a bone and getting sleepy. I wish I could get sleepy right about now.

And I called Amazon and they told me that they don’t fix damage if we drop the kindle (not like it was on purpose). So, as sad as I was, I just threw the damn thing away. Then I find this article about a 5 million dollar class action suit. Sigh, figures.

Today makes it 2 weeks since I’ve been unemployed. Yup, two weeks ago I got laid off due to downsizing (or, at least that’s what they told me). I cried all the way home nearly pulling over so I didn’t get in a wreck because I couldn’t see past the tears in my eyes. Then I got home and Brendan sat with me for a while. Then my wonderful husband said to me, why don’t you start following your dreams for a change and do what you’ve been wanting to do for years. Altho they are paying me for the next month to “find something” (who finds something in a month???? Especially in a recession like this?!?!?! That’s insanity!) Anyway, it’s tough when you think you are part of the core “group” in a company, only to get laid off at the worst time, EVER. What crap.

Anyway, I told my Mother of my husbands idea, that I should follow my dreams and what better time than now? Not saying what that is right now, because I don’t want to jinx that too Mom was all for the idea. Everyone is backing me up on this which gives me the courage and motivation to get on out there and do it.

The only one that has kept in contact with me after the lay off was Brian. What a guy. Shows you who your real friends are, that’s for sure. We’re currently cat sitting for him right now until Saturday. Mom is here until Wednesday. It’s been hard to get my work done without the constant interruption but I’d rather her be here than not.

My sweet Cam bought me a book called “You can heal your life” by Louise L. Hay. Thanks my dear sister, I love you so much We’re going to go through each chapter one by one together. This whole job laid off thing has been just .. well, it got me real down for a little bit, then I started the panic. Now the stress from that job has lifted like you wouldn’t believe. I feel 100 tons lighter. I never realized how much work I put into my job until now when I look back on it. All the time I’ll never be paid for. Fact of it is, they do that intentionally. The last week of working there I hear a lot of things the higher ups were talking about and I never realized what a dishonest company that is, and they don’t care who takes the fall for it. They did me a favor, that’s all I know.

Well, things might actually be looking up. Turns out I have a nice healthy heart with no problems. Couldn’t ask for a better report. I tried to get a picture of the ulta-sound but the lady didn’t have a printer. Bummber. I’m trying to get as many pictures of my insides as possible. So far I have my bronchial scope and the MRI of my lower back (it sort of looks like a staircase) .. that’s what I get for not taking care of it sooner.

I’m 80 pounds lighter since the first of the year. No, I’m not dieting, I didn’t have any radical surgeries (at least ones I wasn’t completely conscious for), I do for the most part eat really healthy but I’ll have the occasional junk food every once in a while. I’m losing it from being sick and losing my appetite. It’s amazing how much faster you move minus 80 pounds tugging along with you. I hope it keeps up actually. Everyone wants to lose weight without doing anything, but … I know they don’t want to suffer through the sickness the whole time.

I am, get this …. I am getting better. I’m taking half the pain meds I used to take. I haven’t taken Oxycodone for 2 weeks and I eliminated my morphine capsule at night. I’m scared because for long periods of time on narcotic pain meds, the pain subconsciously feels worse than what it is. That scares me. Not sure I can handle much more, but it has gone down a bit. i don’t walk through days with an 8 on the pain scale. Right now it’s about a 5.5. That’s progress! I’m also feeling good that every single thing I get out of my closet falls off me. It’s been a long time since that happened. I have to wear a belt with every pair of jeans I have. I can move better, my shortness of breath has nearly gone away.

Nothing with my disease(s)/syndromes are easy fixes. All of them are permanent, but the difference is, I got me some good doctors finally who actually care how I feel. My Pulmonologist took it upon himself to get me into a drug trial for severe asthmatics to try this preventive drug which is most importantly, steroid free. It’s not like I have an appointment wit him … this was an after thought on his point to make sure I’m getting the best treatment available. Finally, I found the right people.

In other news, my Mother is flying down on Saturday to spend the week with us. Since I have Monday off I want to drive to Savannah Georgia. Since I’m getting better I think I’ll be able to handle the car ride fairly well, just as long as Mom and I don’t start one of our fights (like last time). They never last long, I just hate them to begin with. I’ve missed her so much, and I want her to see Spring in Kennesaw. Can’t wait!

As for work, I had a bad few days obviously if you read my twitter. Confidence is back and I’m right there in the middle of he game again getting done what needs to be done. Today I’ve had to give my team a tiny push as the deadline I set for them is coming up and I’m still seeing a lot of tickets in their queue still which is only 50% of the way I’m expecting them to go. We had a 45 second quick meeting reminding them of the impending clock that keeps ticking by not leaving them much time to reach their goal. I have faith, however.

Headed out to get a heart ulta-sound. I haven’t updated recently so for that I apologize but hopefully later today. In the meantime, here’s Jupiter, our newest part of the family all wrapped up in her 8 core goodness.

I’ve been sleeping for the majority of the time now that I’m not taking my thyroid meds. I think my energy has depleted at least 75% because of it. Something I’m going to point out to Dr. S when I see him next week.

My pulmonary doctor did my allergy test. There were about 80 different things they were testing for. If it wasn’t so ironic and I didn’t already sort of know it anyway, the one and only thing I’m allergic to is my cats, out of 80 different things. That’s good since I’m in allergy america.

I have tell a funny about my husband. They take me out to do a breathing test on one of their machines so as I’m heading back to room 8 where they placed us in the first place I thought I smelled something foul. It got stronger the closer I got to my room and when I walked into my room, BAM.

“Did you fart?
“About a min after you left, you can still smell it?
“You can smell it all the way out in the hall!!!!!!!”

So here I am with two magazines wafting the air, hoping the smell either goes away or just gives up and stops stinking.

I saw my doctor coming so I put away the magazines really fast and sat on the bed. He walks in, looks around and says,

“Um, lets use the room next door, I’ll get one of the nurses to do your allergy test”

My husband cleared a room. With his butt. I was so embarrassed at the time, but the minute I walked out I was laughing. I told him he couldn’t do that and to go to the bathroom next time. He’s the only one I know who can have scentless farts so you never know what your going to get. Not that day. That day, he literally cleared a room.

They did schedule an endoscopy on me for this Thursday to look at the blockage in my airway and take a possible biopsy. They will put me out for a small time and my boss told me if I need to take the day and work from home that would be fine. I told him we’ll see.

Yesterday the majority of us went home because the A/C wasn’t working and it got to be 90 degrees in the office. I was sweating like a whore in church. I hope they have it fixed today.

Not sure why I’m up early but it feels good and I slept in the recliner last night so I don’t have any sort of backache. I give my MRI scans to my pain doc next week. I want to try and scan them all first tho, even if they are a little big. What’s a good stitching program?

And I finally got one. Having the student ACD membership program (which expires in two days ironically) we got our federal ax returns back and I texted Brendan if I could go ahead and get it spec’ed and ordered I’ll upgrade the RAM via www.ramjet.com since it’s so much cheaper. I also got the 3 year warranty with it. With the AC D and my student discount the ADW discount I saved nearly $900 bucks when purchasing. That’s huge Should be here this week or next.

Also ordered Fable II wihle I ws at it. Whoops (sorry baby, it really looked THAT good).

Bren was so nice about it. He said, spec it how you want love, you’ve been waiting for years for this. My Mother eventually said the same thing. It should b When I get it I’ll extract the data from my harddriives and install each 500GB drive in slot2 and slot3. from to expand storage and make myself a scratch space for my photos and video’s

From the reviews the biggest noticeable difference is if you are a multi-tasker and have a ton of programs opened at the same time running at any one given time. There aren’t many “wow’s”, “ooowwwww”, and “aaaahhhhhhsss” about working a single program to determine the computers strength.
Hip Hip, hurray!!!!!

This was originally an email to my sissy, Camille, but I thought it would be a nice catch post since I haven’t been on the computer much and share my excitement with you.

Be expecting unboxing photos shortly, whenever it gets here. I just choose ground because they are usually good at getting stuff out to you in a couple days.

Now I need suggestions for a name …..thoughts? Anyone?

So I’m going through this web site that has some wordpress themes I haven’t seen before. One theme in-particular was called “Xplosive” so my overactive imagination makes me picture fire, nuclear bomb, the general things you would think of when relating to the word “Explosive” attached to emotions of fear, excitement, adrenaline rush.

Then I saw the theme. Not only was the theme incredibly boring but I think they people that made it were running out of names or something. Does this look like it matches the name it’s been given?

Behold, Xplosive!

So we have an IRC channel here in the office that connects our support staff with the IT staff we have at different sites around the world. I got some warm fuzzies from it today

I’ve been having some really horrible sleeping problems. My sleep meds have decided to quit working on me giving me nothing left to aid in the sleeping process so after a few days of that the body starts giving into the exhaustion to where I was finding myself asleep at my desk (which is quite comfortable to sleep at btw).

Finally, I was able fall asleep and it took a full 24 hours for my health bar to regain its full strength. The bad thing about this is it’s 3:30am so there isn’t much luck going back to sleep after I’ve already woken up. I tried, didn’t work.

I did however take another fall in the bathroom. I think my shoes were still wet from being out on the back porch trying to get my dog to come back inside I landed square on my right knee. For people with Fibro, falling has to be the worst. It’s not just a fall. It’s a total body flare up so not only does my knee hurt but my body feels like its just been through the meat grinder. Ouch.

My plan is to work early and go see my new doctor at 1pm. I hope he helps. I’m really tired of this doctor hopping. Mom keeps telling me there is a doctor out there that will help me and after a year my 8 ball is saying that things are looking grim. I’ll keep trying. What else can I do at that point?

I’m looking forward to the 31 days to a better blog challenge.

I have never done a challenge before, whether it be one of those “write a book in a month deals” or the “1001 goals to accomplish in 1001” days (even if I’m still working on that one, I just don’t have all the goals on there yet. So when I came across Pro Blogger as I’m going through my RCC feeds in Google Reader and came across their 31 days to build a better blog. This task at hand actually makes me excited and gives me something to look forward to. The contest begins on April Fools day (April 1st for those across seas that don’t keep up with American tradition.

I’m totally tagging my best friend on this one. Cammy-bear, you up for the challenge?

As much as I try
As much as I fail
The bad decisions
The short list of good ones

The pain overwhelms
Life takes a turn
Not for the better
Just the opposite

And I’m still here
Chugging away
Like nothing is wrong
When everything is

I’m so tired
I’m so sick
My plate can’t hold
Everything it should

I will never forget
When everything changed
My sentence, my cross to bare
Is mine only, forever

~yolospat

With my oxygen tank in tow. There are a few things I need t pick up at Lacy’s Pharmacy. Due to past experience this oxygen being administered via nose cannula does two great things. It makes sure the body gets the oxygen it needs, and it also dries out your nose to the point of daily nose bleeds. Vaseline only goes so far. Back in 2004 I remember that my nostrils were lined in bloody scabs. I don’t want that to happen again, so I’m going to get a mask and alternate.

How am I feeling? Well, I wrote a big long email to work about the situation and everything that was going on and I heard nothing back, which only means one thing. They are planning my hopefully “temporary” replacement. I have heard back from my boss and his boss however saying to take as much time as I need to get better. That was nice. I just don’t do good sitting idle so I’m going to learn something over this next week and it’s going to be amazing. I just don’t know what it’s going to be yet. Maybe I will drive into ruby and learn rails and gems.

I’m pretty certain I can make something really neat and cool with that to come back and WOW everyone with. I’ll try at least. I usually only WOW myself. WOW.

I’m digging out my ruby books now … and spending the rest of the night in programmers heaven (best time is when everyone’s asleep, like now)

But I sure knew that I’d had this experience over and over so many times.

(noun) deja fait
the type of dream in which one wakes up, showers and goes to work; often causing distress when one wakes up to the reality that the whole morning must be relived.

Is it pronounced like “fought” or “fiaaa-et” or .. how? I need to know these things.

Yes. Finally got rid of that desk I’ve had over the last few years that was s wobbly as hell. It was the type of desk that could give at any minute. When I bought my townhouse in Colorado they had left such a deck in the upstairs loft. My Mother touched it and it feel to pieces. That’s where this desk was heading, Propped up with TV stands it was on it’s way out, no doubt. I know most geeks out here will understand me when I say my home office and my computer room is my “Domain” … if I’m not at work melting under florescent lights, I’m home in my home office with ambient lighting and a half standing desk.

When I was first given this desk I was told it was “brand new” by a former boss. The hell it was. It has scratches and stickers and gashes all over it. It was one of those desks you would fin in an ally way somewhere thinking great things about how you can use the parts and a little duck tape to device some device to take over the world. I was told I could buy it from him for $50 bucks. I opted against the $50 bucks since I was getting not only extremely used furniture *promised brand new) and there weren’t eve enough bolts to hold the damn thing together. Long story short, it was time for me to have a proper desk and I found the exact on I wanted. I spend the majority of my time in my home office and I was missing that zen factor. Not only was the office cluttered but I had had to have a med for all our fur babies. They follow me everywhere one my oldest has to be right up there with me no matter what. It’s always been our “thing” my Neves and myself bond.

So, with the help of my Mother I splurged on something that would last a lifetime. I got me not only a really nice deck, but one made of light color of mahogany. It has all the nooks and crannies I need. The sucker is HUGE. It takes up a whole corner of two adjacent walls of my home office. It has everything I need, and it’s completely beautiful. I can finally have my own space again and I can finally chill with myself and de-stress and be marry as they used to say. I don’t feel like I have a cock-pit anymore. I feel like I have put in my dues for this desk and finally, I’ve gotten it. I’ve always felt at home on a computer, at my desk but never like this before.

My life from now on is getting my chi (is that the right word?) Balanced, my life balanced and to be in in a place where I am most comfortable. I estaablished that with this new desk in my space, in my zen. The most simple thing one could think of, a desk. Makes such much difference. It’s the little things. It doesn’t involved medication. It doesn’t involved doctors appointments. It just involves a a new set of scenery in a place already so comfortable.

PS – My XBOX Life name is “Yolospat” … didn’t see that one coming, did you?

I’ve been seeing a lot of blogs out there talking about this “new” blog editor called “Blogo” which is really cool and fun and easy to use. Why does every one thing that Blogo is “new” … it’s been around for a while. Over a year at least which is a while when it comes to the tech world.

I’m using it now and I never thought it was really that “great” as an editor. Personally I use MarsEdit and I haven’t found anything that works better than that.

I will even throw an image in there just like they did on the podcast I re-watched.

That being said, maybe I’m bias but Blogo doesn’t look much different than it did when I used it the first time. It doesn’t do anything that makes me excited