.:: Yolospat ::.

My narcolepsy is getting worse. At work if I’m in the middle of working on a document I just wake up with my finger hitting on some key filling up the page. Often times I have to us only one eye to take away the double vision. The new med they want to try on me can’t be given through the pharmacist or the hospitals, it can only be gotten from the manufacturer itself. (www.xyremcom)

I finally called the FFC center to see what was going on with that. I found out that they hadn’t even faxed over the paper over. This is the second time in as many months they have failed to fax in my meds. It’s rather surprising, because this place has a good reputation. When I told Dr. C about what happened last month he was just so visibility upset about it I thought he was going to spring a leak. I wonder what he’s going say this time and how upset he might be. The strange thing is that the staff at the FFC has been excellent so far, much better than I’ve ever experienced…so where are these problems coming from?

It’s not like I want to get anyone fired. The nurses I do have are great and kind with excellent bedside manner.

But this is my life we’re talking about. I’m falling asleep playing Rock Band with my husband, I’m falling asleep at work. Which is not good when my boss or the bigger bosses walk by. My confusion level during these times make me feel like a doorknob. I randomly fall asleep when I’m concentrating on something pretty hard.

I will call tomorrow anyway to see if that paperwork has been faxed and I’m going to request that my doctor call me when he has a minute.

As for the other Fibromyalgia symptoms, I have to have another sleep study done due to my slight sleep apnea so I get to wear one of those scary masks at night. Oh boy, eh? I wonder if the face thing will amplify my snoring. I feel bad for my hubby. He went to pick up my meds that were due for a refill. I couldn’t do any of this without him.

I’m just so frustrated. I’m using the cane all the time now and I’ve been enquiring about getting a power chair (I first called the Scooter Store place that you see those commercials for but my new insurance doesn’t cover it. What’s next in the whole meds scene? More to add to the arsenal or less to make me less sane.

And where do I go for all these questions? All the support groups I have found are so pessimistic, where are the people with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue living happy normal lives? Where are their voices? I’ve heard they exist, but where?

If I hear one more person tell me it’s going to be ok. I’m going to eat them for dinner.

I’m on a million and 4 meds it seems like and for the last few months my legs have been giving out on me to the point where I have fallen. Now for the last few days I keep falling asleep at random times. Worst was today while on a conference call while holding my coffee cup. I woke myself up snoring while watching the coffee spill all over me. Ugh. Embarrassing. I got PLENTY of sleep last night so I don’t know what is going on.Twice on the couch last night brendan caught me sleeping with my head down yet my fingers will still on the keyboard.

This is insane. I can’t just randomly fall asleep. Altho I’ve had a little energy the past few days and I have felt better the last two days, I have this annoying system.

They better figure this out quick. My labs from 3 weeks ago came back and Dr. C personally called me. Everything is worse. The meds aren’t helping, and some of the lab readings were downright scary. I’m supposed to be on bed type rest for the next week and a half till my appointment (there I go, I just feel asleep again, ugh). Thing is, my doctor never calls me personally. Usually he has the nurses call me to relay messages, but this time he had only had my labs for 15 minutes before he looked at them, called tranquilizers in and some other shit (first day of tranquilizers I didn’t like them so I stopped taking them, that isn’t explaining the random sleepiness)

I just have a gut feeling he’s going to drop some sort of ball on me. He can say anything he wants as long as he doesn’t say the word “terminal” .. fuck that shit.

Oh ya, I got Brendan a PS3 with 2 guitars, drums, a remote, 2 controllers, fallout3, bioshock, Oblivian: Elder Scrolls, and guitar hero. Ya, my husband is spoiled.

He just better be getting something for me this year.

Another late night due to one of our sites being down. Three different circuits down, all at the same time. I’ve been on this conference call for hours now and I don’t expect it to be over anytime soon.

I was talking to one of my new guys I just hired and he’s sitting at home working and closing tickets. He said “years of night shift and VPN are like crack” and it’s true. The 1am conference call I had the time before last (last night) I closed about 50 tickets just waiting to join the conference call. We don’t really have “shifts” per say at work. We have our normal work day and if issues carry on throughout the night, then we sleep in and come to work late (like today). After 4 years and a handful of months, I’ve just gotten used to it.

Feeling like poop today, and tired. I’m supposed to do a sleep study to make sure I don’t have sleep apnea. Joy. I hate sleeping away from home, especially with a bunch of wires connected to my head. Maybe I’ll look like a robot.

I’m having a bit of a problem sleeping at night lately, and the fat overfed squirrels aren’t helping. Let me explain.

We have roughtly about 5 huge tall acorn tree’s around the house and some of the branches and limbs go right above the house about 150 feet straight up toward the sky. We have skylights in our living room to allow more light in since we live in a very wooded area. Acorns are small, usually less than an inch big but they are like hard little rocks. With fall upon us, the tree’s are raining leaves down pretty constantly round the clock. Along with the leaves, come the acorns. When these acorns make their 150 foot fall right on the skylights there is a bomb like echo that radiates through the whole house.

BOOOOOMMM

It’s so loud. When it’s 3am in the morning it’s enough to sit you straight up in bed with a panic. My husband and I are getting used to it, a little, but it’s making our sleep pattern very chopping in between each acorn that falls.

I was outside on the porch this afternoon putting Jonah out and I noticed a few squirrels on the top of the fence. Holy moly, they have gotten fat. Every morning there are at least 20-30 acorns sitting on our porch and since the squirrels are so full they aren’t cleaning up these extra acorns.

If you have any starving squirrels, please send them my way.